Class Acts!

We had a demonstration class in "Heaven"...Basically the Japanese Teachers of English (JTEs) and the Principals come to the school to observe an English class. I prayed that both of my teachers from “Purgatory” would be there but only one came with the Principal. The class went really well. The only thing I didn’t like was all the extra effort put into the class. The amount of preparation was way more than usual which means that the teacher got on my nerves way more than usual. She’s the touchy-feely type who thinks that everything she says is SO FUNNY! So when she finishes a sentence, she leans in with a super cheesy smile. I guess so that you can lean in and laugh too. She’s a great teacher but quite annoying as a person! Anyway, after the class and assembly, the vice principal and JTE invited me to go to the reception. Unbeknownst to me it cost $20…weird. At home guest would never pay for a reception to reward them for their hard work. It’s Japan though, so you never really know. The food was great and in true Japanese fashion there was beer and sake for days! I really don’t see how people can stand the taste of either…UGH! So I made sure that the Oolong tea was nearby at all times. It’s at these parties that you get to see people’s true colors. Everyone got TO’ UP!!! The vice principal asked me if I had a boyfriend three times. Here a thumb up means boyfriend and a pinky up means girlfriend. Well the principal looks at me and said in Japanese, “Do you have a” then he put up his thumb then his pinky…I said yes and held up my thumb. Too funny! The fourth grade teacher from the “Heaven” elementary school made it a point to tell me everyone’s business, for example:

~My student’s father cam over to meet the new English teacher and the 4th grade teacher says, “He’s a nice man. Very busy!” Then, he holds up his pinky several times, points to the man’s crotch, and says, “Used a lot!”
~The same teacher pointed to principal’s assistant (who is about 30) and says in Japanese that she has a son, but I didn’t understand. So he put is hands in the shape of “U”s in front of his chest, made squeezing gestures and squirting sounds, and said in English, “Mother!”…Out of control!
~He also talked about every balding man in the room and asked what we called the different types of male pattern balding in English. He got a kick out of “cul-de-sac” when I made a diagram on the table with chopstick wrappers (streets) and a bowl (the cul-de-sac) of the literal meaning. They call a stringy comb-over “barcode hair.”

The math teacher at my school was so drunk and tried to have a serious conversation with me about how “learning/teaching is a pleasure,” which he shouted at the top of his lungs over and over in between slurred Japanese while the drunk vice president said, “He’s drunk” every five minutes. When everyone was good and gone the men thought it was a good idea to throw each other up in the air. It’ was too funny when they got to my principal because he’s a little taller then me and he looked terrified as he went flailing through the air. It was really nice to get to talk to some of the parents and people from the village. Just when I thought the party was over after everyone handed me tons of sweets to take home and cleared out all the tables except those that the food on them, everyone pulls up chairs to the buffet table and they had out new sets of chopsticks…and they drank some more! When it was time to go I gave a quick speech in Japanese to thank everyone as they cheered and told me to make sure that I come to all the parties so that they can send me home with more gifts!

I got a ride home with my JTE and so did the math teacher and the vice principal. The math teacher called ahead to his house to ask his wife to have tea and snacks ready for us when we got there. When we got there, the teacher that I work with asked that they show us their daughters wedding photos. SMALL WORLD! The daughter (Aya) married a former jet named Akbar (a black guy, which is why I think my teacher wanted me to see the pictures so badly…hmm?) Akbar ad Aya met at John’s English school…the place where I went to the first Halloween Party. So the John, his brother, and the “Ko Krew” (one of which is my self-proclaimed Japanese mother) were all in the pictures. I guess that’s to be expected of the English speaking crowd in rural/small town/medium city Japan...and why don't I have any pictures of all this, you ask. I left my dog-on camera at home!